Grounding Down vs. Running Away

When I was a kid I used to get grounded frequently. I was usually told I would not be able to watch tv for few evenings, or I would have to sit in my room alone for awhile and take a “time-out.” After getting over my original frustration I learned;  I LOVED being grounded! I would usually start my “time-out” sulking,  but soon after I would start to organizing toys I forgot about and journaling my life plans. My father would come check on me and my closet would be color coded and I would be grinning ear to ear.

The truth is we need both grounding down and running away. I am truly discovering the love/hate relationship I have to being grounded and told to stay in one place and branching out. For me they are so closely tied hand in hand. I will be the first to admit I have been running for a long time. Most of my 20s I wanted to run away as far as I could, as fast as I could. I see positives and negatives in both and wonder if I can explore each deeper.

  1. Running- It started when I went to Vietnam and Cambodia alone. I aimlessly wandered around Ho Chi Minh City with no knowledge of the culture or language feeling happier than I have in my entire life. I balled my eyes out in Angkor Wat, watched the sunset alone in a temple and I knew I was FREE. I met lifelong friends in Halong Bay and made out on the beach with a stranger on Phu Quoc Island. All that to say- I LOVE being alone. I feel complete, I feel safe when I am alone. After Asia I hiked the Inca Trail alone. When other hikers asked who I was with and my response was “by myself” they would state. I felt proud, brave and content. Running away is what I am good at. Being alone & holding myself up makes me feel powerful. Its grounding down and committing that changes me. Honesty, commitment & sticking it out are where I really struggle.
  2. Staying Put- After all of my travels I “ground” myself. Much like my Father and Mother did when I was a child. I freeze spending, I am late to return text and phone calls to friends and I just become a hermit focused on yoga, work, my goals, and relaxation. Its through the process of staying put that I learn the most. My tendency is to wander brings me back to that little girl alone and content in her room-  happiest when I stay put.
  3. Balance- I will always love the freedom of getting lost somewhere new, I will always yearn for a different life on the other side of the world. I will likely fantasize what it would be like to leave my apartment, family, friends and start over somewhere new. However each day I am realizing happiness is being content right where you are at. I have worked really hard to build my business, my network and my apartment. Grounding down sounds quite appealing.

In conclusion life is circular not linear. Sometimes we need to run away to come back to where we are meant to be. Sometimes we need to leave everything so when we return we are left with what matters. TRUST the UNIVERSE. Cultivate the balance that works for you. Most of all its know that EVERYTHING you need is inside of you. Peel back the layers to find your balance. Let go of whats not serving you and trust me just keep grounding down.

Love & Light,

Erica

 

 

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